Could Lois Lane have Superman's baby?
Back in 1995 there was a debate between Brodie and T.S. that stuck with me through the years. I am not saying I lost any sleep over it, but when I saw Superman Returns I remembered it and realized that we finally had a cinematic answer to the question.
In
Superman Returns, Lois has a kid. The young boy, Jason White is believed to be the offspring of Lois and Richard White (Perry White's nephew).
However, when his mother is in dire need of assistance Jason finds the strength to uproot throw a full-size grand piano across a room and thus flattening her attacker.
So now we know that the Lois and Superman did have a kid. However, the debate from one my favorite
Kevin Smith flicks,
Mallrats is funny enough for me to risk a lawsuit and do a minor excerpt. (Not that I think you would, but Mr. Smith please don't sue.)
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But they're engaged.
It doesn't matter,
it can't happen.
Why not?
It's bound to come up.
It's impossible.
Lois could never have
Superman's baby.
Do you think
her fallopian tubes
can handle his sperm?
I guarantee he blows a load
like a shotgun,
right through her back.
What about her womb?
Do you think
it's strong enough
to carry his child?
Sure. Why not?
He's an alien,
for Christ's sake!
His Kryptonian
biological makeup is enhanced
by Earth's yellow sun.
If Lois gets a tan,
the kid could kick
right through her stomach.
Only someone like Wonder Woman
has a strong enough uterus
to carry his kid.
The only way
he could bang regular chicks
is with a Kryptonite condom.
But that would kill him.
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I can only hope that if there is a sequal to Superman Returns that it answers the question about Jason White's biological makeup when it comes to the sun.
I had meant to make this post while we were back in Michigan but I kept forgetting. That is until I saw
Clerks II yesterday it reminded me that I needed to do a Mallrats/Superman returns post.
I also want to note that during a discussion with
Jeremy today I posted a
story up on
Digg. I had posted it with the notion that no one would every read it, let alone vote on it. However, before he and I were done talking a couple of folks had "Dugg" it. I checked the page views and it appears that about 80 some folks have viewed it.
Laterz.
